Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Creation

In class, we have been studying different creation myths. I find creation myths to be fascinating. They answer all of the ultimate questions. Questions such as: who are we? Where do we come from? Why are we here? Do we have a creator(s) and if so, what are they like? What should be expected of us? And so on. These are all questions that human kind has always and continues to try and figure out. We humans stand apart from animals in this way, among others of course. Animals seem content with not knowing where they come from. They live, reproduce and die. Humans, on the other hand, want to figure things out. We want to know everything that is going on and why it is the way it is. We have science because of this want, this need from information. In earlier days, myths covered these needs.
In class, there was an interesting question asked. "Is creation for us or for God/other power?" This question has provoked a few interesting thoughts out of me. I started thinking about the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche. He did not believe in any kind of greater power. To him, we have no purpose here on Earth other than just live out our lives and die. Nietzsche believed that a person should strive for power and that was the best way to survive. Animals are like this, survival of the fittest. The more powerful animals are the ones who make it. But animals do not have Gods, or at least not to my knowledge. They do not need Gods to make it in the world. If Nietzsche is right and that we are like animals, why would we need to create a God for ourselves? I believe that it is more likely that God created us than it is that we created Him.

I decided that I would write my own creation story. Let's see what happens.

In the beginning... there was vast emptiness that stretched on forever. In the depths of the emptiness, there was water as great as the emptiness. Ruling over this emptiness, call Roamingal, was a gigantic cellular phone. This phone, Cellacron, cannot be described because it is beyond what any human mind can imagine or comprehend.
Cellacron hovered around Roamingal and was very alone. He had no one to love and worship him. He decided to muster up a large sum of his eternal battery power and zap smaller and inferior cell phones into being. These phones were indeed inferior and could not hover in Roamingal on their own and they fell to the watery depths bellow to their destruction.
Because of this failure, Cellacron decided to make land. He proceeded to use all is currently stored battery power to zap an entire earth into being. After the Earth was created he rested and recharged himself to full strength.
Cellacron then created applications for himself to make the creation process easier. This way, he could create masses of all different types of phones. He put these phones on earth to live and worship him.
Cellacron was very happy. His people worshiped him and he loved them so much. He wanted to create inferior creatures to worship his childeren. He made an app. for animals, all kinds of animals. These animals were interesting, adorable, scary, funny and so on. These animals supplied many topics for the phones to talk about and take pictures of. But the animals did not know how to worship the phones. This troubled Cellacron so he devised another app. to create more intelligent beings. These beings were called humans.
Cellacron sent these humans to Earth with the intent to have them worship and be slaves to the Cell Phone people. But upon arrival and seeing the Cell Phone people, the humans became violent. Phones were strange and looked dangerous to primitive human beings, such as themselves. The humans began to destroy all the Phone People. Cellacron was furious. He had one of his favorite phones, Nokia, take pictures of all of the animals on the Earth so that these creatures may be preserved. Cellacron then took Nokia and put him in a phone carrier that would withstand any type of weather. By this time, most of the Phone People had been destroyed. Cellacron created a virus that would wipe out the entire world with a giant flood. Everything and everyone was destroyed except for Nokia. After everything had dried, Nokia sent out picture messages to the world of all the animals so that the Earth may be repopulated by these creatures.
Cellacron decided that he needed to take a different approach to getting humans to worship the Phone People. He made Nokia power down and hide while he gradually brought humans to a level in which they could handle the Phone People. Cellacron let the humans evolve and become increasingly intelligent over thousands of years. Humans began to invent and create their own devices. Little did they know, Cellacron was texting thoughts into their heads to help them figure out these inventions. One day, he finally let Nokia emerge from hiding. Humans were finally ready to handle Phone People.
Before long, humans became completely dependent on Cell Phone People. A human could go nowhere without one. They worshiped the phones by the continuous use of what they thought were their creations. Humans paid tributes to the large societies of the Cell Phone People, such as Verison, AT&T and many more. And if a human did not worship the Phone People, they were subjected to social outcasting by other humans. Cellacron was pleased with his work. He knew that by making humans feel that they had created "the cellular phone" they would never rebel against their own masters. Humans did not know that they were slaves and to this day still live in ignorance. The Cell Phone People would continue to live on and Cellacron would carry on to preside over all of the Earth.

2 comments:

  1. So did Cellacron text his story into your brain because he felt that the humans in bozeman MT were finally evolved enough to understand the creation of their species? Oh and can you ask him what he plugs into to recharge his battery because i need to plug in about now.

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  2. Yes. I am the human messenger for Cellacron. I'm just that cool. And he will not reveal his charging powers to me. Yes I know. It is rather unfortunate.

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